I've had it

Seriously people, this has got to stop. No more. Nah-ah. I'm talking of course about finnish tabloid magazines, and by necessity (since I am gonna include links to examples) this post will be sort of bi-lingual. Bear with me.

I'm looking at finnish Iltalehti, or "evening post" and these are all real actual news items.

"Haiderin seuraaja: Olin hänen rakastajansa" = Haider's successor: I was his lover
Ok, this is still pretty normal, even for two guys in a right-wing nationalist party, I guess. Moving on:

Robottilaumat ihmisjahtiin = Robothordes to hunt humans
This is certainly cool. All we need now is some kind of big central machine that could control all of these robots....

Suojaudu luodeilta - osta nenäliina! = Protect yourself from bullet - buy a hankie!
It's an idiotic headline, no way around it. And if you expect the actual story to be cooler, you're gonna be disappointed, it's just a hankie made of kevlar (which once again goes to show, shoot them in the head).

Mies syötti kaverilleen tyttöystävänsä sormen = Man fed a friend his girlfriend's finger
The story here is of course awful, but my main point here is the number of bizarre headlines today, so we'll move right on to:

Räjähtänyt aasi tappoi poliisin - Exploded donkey killed a policeman
Although the story makes it clear that it was the explosion itself that killed the cop, the headline says "exploded" as if the donkey first exploded and THEN killed the cop. Now that's something you don't see every day. But even this is not the best thing I could find today, because we still have:

Hitler ja Marx kaivoivat mielellään nenää = Hitler and Marx liked to pick their noses
Where to start.... A guy called Roland Flicket has apparently written a book about picking noses. We Can Work It Out (a song by The Beatles) is about picking your nose, according to him. And as for Hitler, Marx and Otto von Bismarck, they liked to pick their noses, according to (oh yes) a horoscope.

Those were all from the world news section of the magazine, they also have a separate "crazy world" section for...ummm... no, I can't think of what it's for.